I had no idea who Joe Jonas was, I thought maybe he was a pastry chef– Dale, Top Chef (via lexboy)
hey elisabeth, what’s the difference between leaving something on...– dad
Wendy Williams: You don't have any tattoos?
Kim Kardashian: Honey, would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?
dumpie: Charlie always has this inner conflict going on inside his head: “Do I want to bite Linus’ throat until he suffocates or lick his butthole until it’s completely clean?” Both are disturbing to witness, every goddamn day.
Do you have somewhere to be? Because I’d like to know what direction to kick...– Hank Hill (via wematanye)
people get cut. that’s life.– dakota whevsies, i know who killed me
Why does Hollywood think that everyone will be excited just because Johnny Depp...– gabe, videogum
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...– me, finding out that cash cab is fake :(
gadgetry: Alex Guarnaschelli is either TOTAL RAGING ASSHOLE or extremely nice. I have seen no in between with her whatsoever. but i think we (aka i + the other four people on tumblr who have ever watched it) can all agree that geoffrey zakarian is 100% dick.